foreign policy is my passion yet actually i'm also a mother. i want to be at home for the last five years that my children are at home. it was hard for me to admit that to myself. in the end i had to recognize, both as a matter of need and want, that my life was going to go in a different direction than i had always expected it would. i had to listen to that. i had to, in the end say, wow, maybe i'm not the same person i thought i was. i know this is the right thing for me to do. >> what was the most difficult part of your job in relation to balancing it with your role as a mother? >> it was just that sense so often where particularly my oldest son really needed me home, needed us both there. and i was in another place. i could not do anything about that. you know, i think that is true for millions of parents. certainly millions of women. i realize the stress was just overwhelming of knowing i had a child who really did need me and i couldn't respond. i couldn't live up to that responsibility. >> after you came to your decision you must have ta